Progress, Not Perfection: My Journey to Enoughness

As a kid, I was the classic overachiever. I wanted the praise and adoration that accomplishments brought, and let's face it, getting accolades was way more fun than getting into trouble!

However, doing well in school and rising in the ranks in school activities became almost like a competition with myself. Not to mention, I got paid for every "A" I received by my grandfather and a little bit of scolding for anything less. Both he and my mother held me to very high standards. My mom wanted the best for me, and I wanted to make her proud. Before long, perfectionism wasn’t just a habit, it was my identity.

My parents had also divorced when I was around age 4 and I desperately missed my dad. I would do anything to get him to see me and love me. I didn’t realize it then, but I wasn’t just chasing success. I was chasing safety and connection.

I share all of this to say that perfectionism is often born in circumstances that make it look like the best and most safe option for a child. Then it follows that child into adulthood where it becomes maladaptive and can really cause some barriers at work and in relationships.

I learned to earn love, approval, and belonging through performance. It felt safe… until it didn’t.

Perfectionism looks like responsibility and success, but underneath, it’s fear in a fancy outfit. It's fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being enough.

As I grew older, that need to be perfect followed me into my career, relationships, and faith. I became my own worst critic, holding myself to impossible standards while extending grace to everyone but me.

But healing began the day I realized this truth:

Perfection was never the point. Progress was.

I started redefining what “enough” looked like. Enough effort. Enough rest. Enough grace for myself when I inevitably messed up. I am enough under the redeeming blood of Jesus.

Sometimes I still catch myself saying things like, "You failed" or "you need to do better." However, now I can remind myself that even failures and setbacks are part of growth. I still learn when things aren't "perfect."

If you’ve spent your life trying to prove your value through being perfect or climbing the corporate ladder in hopes of being the next best thing, I see you. You probably learned early that perfection felt safer than disappointment. But you don’t have to live that way anymore.

Perfectionism may have protected you once, but it’s peace that will sustain you now.

So let’s trade performing for progressing.

Let’s celebrate becoming—messy, brave, and beautifully and unapologetically unfinished.

Because your worth was never meant to be graded.